How quick are you in finding silver linings?
In one interesting study, psychologists asked students who were dating each other to fill out a questionnaire about their romantic relationships. Couples were seated across from each other and were told they’d be answering exactly the same questions.
First pages were identical and had questions like: How long have you been dating? Where did you meet? etc.
But the second page had a twist. 👀
One person was asked what they HATED about their partner, and the other person was asked to list everything they had... in their dorm room.
How would you feel if you saw your partner calmly listing 1,356 things they presumably hated about you (not knowing they were actually listing all the things from their dorm room)?
What these researchers found was that people who generally do not have a positive outlook were incredibly offended and felt lower levels of closeness to their partner after this exercise.
However, those who generally do have a positive outlook felt closer to their partner, because they instantly saw the silver lining in the 1,356 things they thought their partner hated about them. The silver lining being: if they are willing to put up with all these flaws of mine, they must really love me!
I definitely fall into the first group and need to be quite intentional to stay positive in tough situations. 🥵
And I have a few friends who possess this rare quality to see the silver lining in every situation.
✨These are the people who have the Positivity talent in their top 10 CliftonStrengths talents.✨
But sometimes they tend to hide this talent, because they get burned by offering a positive outlook too quickly and get labeled as “naive” or “insensitive.” If that’s you, try to give the other person time to go through their emotions and then ask them if they’d like a positive reframe.
And if you’re someone who tends to feel down, find a friend who naturally sees things in a positive light. We all need such friends, right? ❤️
July 13, 2021
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